Beginner's Mind

Earlier this week my dear friend sat across from me at an outdoor café.   I sat listening to her harrowing story of how she and her husband had to evacuate their house during the recent wildfires. For eleven days they didn’t know if they would return to find their house burned to the ground. Our conversation turned to so much of what we are experiencing in these times of global crisis. Before long we fell silent.  Mute with despair.

That evening I pulled out my ipad and clicked on my favorite meditation teacher’s podcast.  I scrolled through the menu and landed on a talk Tara Brach www.tarabrach.com recorded on May 22nd entitled, Embracing Uncertainty. I was pretty certain that I needed a spiritual talk on uncertainty. I mean, what else can go wrong, right?

Tara explains that as humans we have an inner controller (limbic nervous system/survival fight or flight) that lures us into clinging on to our daily habits as a false sense of security, a steady routine that says hey everything is safe. You got this.

But what happens when our daily routines get disrupted? We worry. We think incessantly. Bodies are tense and sleep interrupted.  I mean, if you’re maybe going to lose your house in a fire, your job or your health, it seems to make sense that you should be worried. But you have to ask yourself, will worrying help me control the future? Will it create the future I want back, the normal life where uncertainty no longer exists? 

Yet in reality, life is always uncertain. So, the truer question is, how can I make peace with uncertainty?

Tara talks about reframing your mindset into what Zen master Suzuki Roshi calls beginner’s mind.   Beginner’s mind is curious. It doesn’t need to have an answer right away, but rather is open to new and different possibilities.  The key to finding peace in uncertainty is trusting in a larger belonging.

I wanted to directly experience the wisdom of these teachings so I spent a few minutes in shamanic journey.  I covered my eyes, put on my recorded drumming and asked my soul to show me how I can I have more trust, how I can be open to different possibilities instead of unconsciously being led around by my very small and limited autonomic nervous system.  I became a majestic white crane flying in the silence of a clear blue sky held by currents of soft wind.

Intention: Close your eyes. Take a nice deep breath and invite in the moments of remembering that you are that majestic white bird with the wind beneath your wings lifting you with infinite love and belonging. Relax into it. You don’t know what’s going to happen. You may not have an answer. And that’s okay.

‘Help me find acceptance in quietness born of trust.’  Ancient Celtic Blessing